Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Ya know that commercial where the woman looks right into the camera and says “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.’ Yeah right. How ‘bout we just slap her instead? Happy Birthday to one of the most Beautiful women I know!
Middle age Ya know… they say if you’re a tree or a cheese or even a bottle of wine, middle age is actually considered well….young. Whatever. Life also used to be a magazine. Happy birthday. To one of the finest cheeses I know.
Stars splashed across the sky The day that you were born, stars splashed across the sky and the world became well… brighter somehow. Certainly much more fun! I hope your birthday is as fun-filled as you are!!!
The day you were born . . . The day you were born, a little bit of heaven fell from the sky. I hope you have the grandest of days. To the grandest of people. Happy Birthday.
To say that age means nothing . . . To say that age means nothing is not entirely true. The people you’ve touched and the laughter you’ve brought will be remembered for years and years to come. Happy Birthday.
Wonderful things happen when you're around Wonderful things seem to happen when you’re around. I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday because of all the people I know…. you deserve it the most. Happy Birthday!
Prune Juice Dirt, dinosaurs, and blue cheese. These are the only 3 things I can think of that could possibly be older than you. This birthday have a few glasses of prune juice my friend… you’re gonna need it.
Play Your Cards Right You know my friend, your birthday party and sex are the only things you can count on once a year. Tonight’s the night for one, and if you play your cards right… you might get them both. Happy Birthday big boy.
The Bright Side It’s your birthday and you’re getting older. But look on the Brightside… if this were the 18th Century, you would have been dead a long time ago. Have a happy birthday!
Put Your Back Out You know you’re getting older when you put your back out buttering toast. Seriously, stop being so crusty… it’s your birthday.
Your Own Apartment I hope you get this message before your parents do. At any rate Happy 34th birthday… haha… maybe this year you can ask them for your own apartment.
Being Born Hi there, I hear it’s your birthday. Way to go on being born!!!!! Come to think of it, if you put it that way I should really be calling your mother and thanking her!
Your 39 Hey! 39 heh… you got nothing to worry about, your whole life's in front of you… what’s that… you’re 40? You are soooooooooo screwed!! Have a good one anyway… ya old fart.
Wrinkle Cream Hey girlfriend, it’s your birthday. I know you’re getting older, but you’ll still look great. Especially after you slap on the new wrinkle cream I gave you.
Senior's Discount It’s your birthday… and I’m just calling to inform you that after today you officially qualify for a senior’s discount. And you know what that means… you’re buying! Thanks for getting older!
Birthday Again I got this message to give you a call because it apparently is your birthday AGAIN. Just how old are you? 98? Seriously, didn’t we just celebrate like two months ago?
