Insults 15 Don’t you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already, without you working so hard to give us another? Every girl has a right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege!
Insults 39 He can open his mail with that nose. He can think without moving his lips. He comes from a long line of real estate people, they’re a vacant lot!
Insults 40 He does the work of three men, Curly, Larry and Moe. He doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
Insults 41 He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed. You are so short your hair smells like feet. You are so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.
Insults 1 One of the best ways to show remorse or request forgiveness is to meet the individual on a person to person level and apologize. With that in mind, allow me to ask - - - when can I expect you.
Insults 42 He named the street he owned for his wife – what a grand statement of his love for her for she was cold, hard, cracked and only got plowed around the holidays.
Insults 43 Heard you family went to a restaurant where they served crabs – just so they could bring you along. You’ve got that far away look. The farther away you get, the better you look.
Insults 44 She’s so fat she has the only car in town with stretch marks. You are the reason brothers and sisters shouldn’t marry. I heard you were the first in your family born without a tail.
Insults 45 Hey I remember you when you only had one stomach. Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked if you wanted it wrapped or if you’d eat in on the spot.
Insults 51 I don't think you are a fool. But then what’s my opinion against thousands of others. I don’t want you to turn the other cheek. It’s just as ugly.
Insults 60 I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you. I hear the only place you are invited is outside.
Insults 52 I hear what you’re saying, but I just don’t care. I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - - - just plain rank. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub.
Insults 53 I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you. I hear you are connected to the Police Department – by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla.
Insults 54 I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. I know you are nobody’s fool but maybe someone will adopt you. I know you’re a self-made man. It’s nice of you to take the blame.
Insults 55 I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be! I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you. I like your approach, now let’s see your departure.
Insults 56 I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have much lower opinion of you. I want nothing out of you but breathing, and very little of that.
Insults 57 I would ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high. I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn’t get offended.
Insults 58 I'd like to give you a going away present . . . but you have to do your part. I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I’d like to leave you with one thought . . . but I’m not sure you have a place to put it!
Insults 59 I'd love to go out with you, but my favourite commercial is on TV. I’d rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you. I’d slap you senseless, but I haven’t got 3 seconds!
Insults 19 Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? As useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker!
Insults 17 Support your local undertaker, drop dead. I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant – go away!
Insults 38 It finally dawned on me. If your ego were any bigger there would be no room left for your intellect. Please have someone repeat this message to you, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Insults 3 Wisdom comes with age. Please consider yourself to be more in a hurry.
Insults 4 (Female) What’s my sign? No Entry! Sure I need a real man. Know where I can find one? See no evil, Here no evil, date no evil!
Insults 5 (Female) I’m blond, what’s your excuse. Sorry, I like them a little higher on the food chain. A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!
Insults 6 You are the only man who – if told to screw himself, could do it. I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I’d fart.
Insults 7 Why don’t you put your glasses on backwards and walk into yourself? Why don’t you go to a window and lean out to far? Why don’t you buy a house – and stay there?
Insults 8 (M) Anything goes tonight – and may you be the first. (F) Um, any part of you that touches me, you’re not getting it back. (M) It was nice of you to come, now when are you going? (F) I’m sure you’re better at sex than anyone, now all you need is a partner!
Insults 9 Anyone who told you to be yourself, couldn’t have given you worse advice. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? Are you brain dead?
Insults 47 (M) If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents. (F) You’re the only man who if I told to screw himself could do it. (M) If I promise to miss you, will you go away? (F) You couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison with a fist-full of pardons!
Insults 16 He is so old that his blood type was discontinued. He’s the kind of man you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot. You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle.
Insults 20 At least you’re not obnoxious like so many other people. You’re obnoxious in a different and worse way. Brains aren’t everything, in fact in your case, they’re nothing!
Insults 14 Did your parents have any children that lived? Did your parent ever ask you to run away from home? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough oxygen at birth?
Insults 35 Converse with any plankton lately? Careful, don’t let your brain go to your head. Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Insults 37 Don’t let your mind wander, it’s too little to be let out alone. Don’t mind him, he has a soft heart, and a head to match. Don’t think, it may sprain your brain.
Insults 38 Don’t you have terribly empty feeling in your skull? Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you? Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?
Insults 13 Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the ideas. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?
Insult 12 (Recipient’s name) Has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig. Has the IQ of lint. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
Insults 46 Hi, I’m a human being, and you are! How did you get here, someone leave your cage open - I bet your mother has a loud bark.
Insults 47 I believe in respect for the dead, infact I could only respect you if you were dead. I’ll bet your brain feels as good as new; seeing that you’ve never used it.
Insults 48 I could tell you were lying, your lips were moving. I can’t talk to you right now. Tell me, where will you be in ten years, I certianly hope you are sterile.
Insults 49 I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit. I don’t consider you a vulture, I consider you something a vulture would eat.
Insults 50 I don’t mind that you’re talking so long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
Insults 46 I hear you changed your mind. What did you do with the diaper? I heard you had your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. I hear you were born on April 2nd – a day too late!
Insult 18 Doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words. Don’t get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance. Don't feel bad, allot of people have no talent.
Insults 36 Do you have to leave so soon, I was about to poison the tea. Do want to die stupid? Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
